{"product_id":"secret-product","title":"Prototype Mk. ∞","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe classified Prototype Mk. ∞ is Fidget Vault's most advanced unreleased product to date. Unfortunately, due to legal concerns, temporal instability, and several strongly worded emails from the Department of Physics, we are unable to reveal what it actually does.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMachined from a proprietary blend of unobtainium, hopes, dreams, and at least three recycled shopping carts, the Prototype Mk. ∞ features an industry-leading 0 to 47 feedback points depending entirely on how much coffee you've had that day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe internal mechanism utilizes a quantum-assisted reverse-hybrid bearing system that simultaneously spins, doesn't spin, and is still being debated by leading scientists.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDuring testing, users reported:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncreased happiness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDecreased productivity\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn overwhelming urge to buy more fidgets\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMild confusion regarding the laws of space and time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Prototype Mk. ∞ supports clicking, sliding, spinning, rotating, contemplating, and in rare cases, achieving enlightenment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Stands Out\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCompletely classified functionality\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePowered by 100% imaginary engineering\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeatures at least one moving part (probably)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProduces tactile feedback in most known dimensions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTested by absolutely nobody\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNot available for purchase\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay or may not exist\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePlease note:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e This product is currently being used to test new features on Fidget Vault. If you've somehow found this page, congratulations—you've discovered an easter egg.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Top Secret","offers":[{"title":"Stainless Steel","offer_id":47253955870851,"sku":null,"price":670.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0685\/2752\/1923\/files\/Top-D-M1.webp?v=1774811177","url":"https:\/\/fidgetvault.com\/products\/secret-product","provider":"Fidget Vault","version":"1.0","type":"link"}